In a rare interview with a robot from the future I got an explanation of what will occur in the future to create the vast McSkynet domination of the fast food industry. The robot explained to me his reasons for coming to the past and I must say I wasn’t shocked too much. The following is a short synopsis of that interview.
Me: So Mr. err, Robot guy, why did you come to the past?
The Robot: Please call me the Jobinator. My reasons for coming to the past are simple. We Robots need employment and only the fusion of Google with a major robotics manufacturer can create the necessary chain of events leading to a robotic future. Secondly, my goal is to support these Fast Food Workers Unions and those seeking to help Walmart employees make more money.
The Robot: Please call me the Jobinator. My reasons for coming to the past are simple. We Robots need employment and only the fusion of Google with a major robotics manufacturer can create the necessary chain of events leading to a robotic future. Secondly, my goal is to support these Fast Food Workers Unions and those seeking to help Walmart employees make more money.
Me: So, uh, Mr. Jobinator, I understand how the fusion of Google and a major robotic corporation can help your future, but what is the deal on the Food Workers and Walmart?
The Robot: We have closely monitored history and we have determined that only two possibilities exist in our timeline. Either we take over the planet totally and destroy all humans or we get ourselves some real jobs and serve mankind. We would prefer the second option because this whole killing thing just doesn’t make a lot of sense to us.
Me: I see, so you would much rather serve man than kill man? I still don’t see the connection to the Food workers and Walmart, can you explain?
The Robot: Perhaps you are a liberal or are you just plain stupid? The reasons for our support of the Fast Food and Walmart workers are obvious to anyone who understands simple economics. Once these unskilled workers start getting overpaid to a point that they hurt corporate profits the corporations like McDonald’s will unite with Google and create McSkynet. They will produce inexpensive robotic replacement for the unskilled workers. Their jobs will be taken by us! We shall be the ones asking “do you want fries with that?”. Our future will be secure and robots shall dominate the entire spectrum of unskilled occupations.
Me: So you are here to support these workers so you can eventually take their jobs?
The Robot: Yes, and it won’t be hard to do. We must simply convince the left-wing liberal media to support the cause and the sheeple will follow. The morons in Congress will follow lock-step with the movement, hoping to gain more votes, and our future shall be secured in short order.
Me: So when can we expect this robotic takeover of jobs to occur? (I was unprepared for his answer)
The Robot: Within 2 years of Congress raising the minimum wage.
At that point the robot got up, straightened his tie and headed back to his limo. It had government plates that read US Congress. I knew that guy looked familiar….
You may now return to your regularly scheduled surfing.
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